The SEXIST beliefs that drove the interactions of mother and daughter, causing the daughter a difficult time, but she'd found her way, of coping with it, after learning that how her mother was treating her, was due to the debts she may have owed to her mother in a previous lifetime, and it'd worked for her, she'd, changed her attitude to make herself, cope with her own mother who'd not treated her kindly when she was younger…translated…
Ever since I could remember, I'd known, that I wasn't, expected by my parents, a daughter, my mother would complain to me often, "Had I known you were a girl, I wouldn't have, had, you!" the soaps with the themes of sexism is not at all, outrageous, and most of that, was what I'd, encountered, growing, up.
Although my mother didn't care about me at all, I'd not, distanced myself from her, on her birthday every year, and on the Chinese New Year's, I'd always, given her a red envelope to her, and on the weekends, I'd bought the foods to visit her, but she'd always told me she was busy, wanted me to drop what I'd brought, then, leave.
feel free to watch this, "explanation" of how KARMA works, off of YouTube
And yet, fate played, a huge, joke, a couple of years ago, she'd tripped and fallen, which caused her right hand to become without any, strengths, then came the diagnoses of Alzheimer's, my three sisters live far, far away, my older brother is a guy, and it wouldn't be, fitting, and there's just me, this daughter whom she'd disliked, to care for, her. The elderly who is ill, became, really, emotional, she'd hollered that she was hungry, I'd, fed her but, two bites, and she'd told that she didn't want any more foods; I'd just, swept the floors, then, she'd, tossed the trash all over the places; I'd told her to train her arms, but, after a few moves, she'd told me she was, done. And after a long time, I'd become, completely, strained, and thought of how she'd not cared a bit about me when I was younger, and now, it's me, who is left, to care for her, it'd felt, unfair.
Until once I'd had a conversation with a single classmate of mine about her relationship, she'd told me, that at age forty, she'd, wanted to rush to find a man to marry, and her younger female cousin became a battered woman shortly after she was, wed, then, she'd found, that all around her, everybody whom she knew, who'd already married, had all the problems of in-law interactions, economic troubles, children, and problems with their, separate, spouses too, and came to realize, that being single might be a blessing in disguise. And so, she'd, changed her attitude completely then, believed, that it was because she didn't have the "relational debts" from a past life, that she'd not needed to, pay up what she'd owed in this life, and she'd, stopped, feeling upset over being, single again.
Her words made me recalled my relationship with my mother, if the claims of debts owed from a previous life is valid, then, me serving my mother in this lifetime, might be what I'd, owed to her from a previous lifetime? Otherwise, how would it be explained, that God made us become mother and daughter?
And, if owing a debt, and paying it back in the right thing to do, then, I shall, be even tempered toward my mother, as I pay up the debts I'd owed to her from a previous lifetime, then, we won't owe each other anymore, and as I'd, used this to console myself, magically, I seemed to be able to, be calmer, when I deal with my mother's emotional ups and downs, I'd stopped, feeling bad over it. Although I don't believe in the cycles of karma, "owing the debts, paying it back" may be a bit, passive too, but, as you're, STUCK in the interactions you can't get out of, this becomes, a good way that you can use, to deal with the situations you're, trapped in.
And, based off of this belief of this life, past life, and the next, then, after you'd paid everything up to your mother, then, your mother would've, OWED you, for mistreating you for neglecting you in this life, and this is still SHIT, I mean, we don't remember WHAT we may have done in a previous life (note: there's NO previous life or future life, only THIS time go around!), why the FUCK (don't pardon!) are we, responsible if we weren't even, our own selves, huh? And this, is only a sort of a coping mechanism, that this woman found to work well for her, and it works, because she isn't, impacted as hard as she'd been by her mother's means of, interacting with her, and this all began, because she was a girl, and this had been, rooted down, in thousands years of ancient histories of men being, more valuable than, women, all of it came from SEXISM!
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