I did something I had never done and took a weekend away from my family. I have had a migraine every day this month. Marriage is a balance. There are times when the wife needs to take control. The tipping point for me last week was when my husband made a mess and left it for me to clean up. I had already had a meditation group scheduled for Saturday morning. I decided to spend the whole weekend when he told me to find a tenant for the rental and leave the roof issue to him.
I packed my suitcase. The kids went with my Aunt who is in town for part of the weekend. I made a list of what I wanted him to get done. I called the contractor in my icy voice and told him to cut me a check or he won't work in this town again. He did and signed an agreement to be responsible for any damages my new contractor finds. My Aunt just sat there and smirked at my husband. "You married a strong woman. How long did you think she would allow these messes to simply sit?"
My husband called me while I was on the road to ask if I was serious about spending the weekend at the retreat. I told I would see him on Monday. I spent 3 days in silence. It is a luxury to sit and listen to your inner chatter. The inner chatter quiets leaving your core beliefs and needs.
I do not mind taking care of my family, I do mind not being told to stay out of things. I came home to a different husband and kids.
This morning, my husband was sitting at the table on the porch when I came holding the cashier's check from the contractor. I reminded him that I had supported a family as a single mother. We discussed the difference between being frugal and cheap. He doesn't get to pick and choose what messes I have to clean up. We are a partnership. You may wonder what the final straw mess I needed to clean up, it was my large oil diffuser filled with water and essential oil. He had just left it after he knocked. Then, that morning, the electrical failed in the kitchen. He wanted to rig it for a while. Repairs need to be done promptly. I called the electric contractor who had fixed the problem before. He was unable to figure it out at the end of the day.
The family has a new appreciation for all that I do and say. My older daughter was stunned when my voicemail stated I went to a silent retreat if there were any issues, my husband would take care of it.
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