I am too old to throw a temper tantrum, but I was angry when I went to bed last night. Consequently, I tossed and turned most of the night. Around 2:30, I sat up and hung my feet and legs over the side of the bed and stared into the darkness as though my being semi upright would alter my attitude. I don't remember how long I sat in that position, but it added to my sense of fatigue. I laid back down and tried to find the sandman.
Somehow in the resources of my mind, mother used to tell us that the sandman would put sand in our eyes, and we would sleep through the night? That is a strange thing to tell a kid, but back then, it seemed to make sense. At some point, the sound of Mr. Sandman rolled around inside my head for a while. The song is tied to the memory of a song from the mid-1950s. I think the song held the possibility of having good dreams.
Surprisingly, this morning I stayed in bed long past my usual time to get up. I cannot say that I feel rested. The anger had dissipated into a sense of dread, but as I looked out the window this morning to a man hand-watering the green of the golf course, I found myself becoming angry again.
We've been in stage IV water restrictions for over a year. I've resolved to never have the thought: "Rain rain go away, come again another day." I am ready to dance in the rain even if I don't know how to dance.
Sometimes we are left to chance, and we have no control over the things that filter through our lives. Yet, the one thing we have control over is our attitude. Today my job is to work on mine.
By the way, on second thought, I'm glad the man was watering the golf course green. I purposefully turned off the facet related to my anger. You won't find a blade of green grass in my yard, or any kind of grass for that matter. Consequently, I am now grateful that the man was watering the 13th green. It is nice to have the view of what is not attainable in my yard.
As I write this, the sound of Tom Jones comes to mind. Do you remember the Green
Green Grass of Home? I bet you remember the lyrics? "The old hometown looks the same – As I step down from the train – And there to meet me is my mama and papa – Down the road I looked and there was Mary – Hair of gold and lips like cherries – It's good to touch the green green grass of home."
By the way, I'm okay. Sometimes playing the part of a two-year-old having a tantrum feels good, but at my age it is really tiring.
All The Best!
Don
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