There was a time when I kept receiving news of friends getting married, friends having babies but that was many years ago. Not to sound morbid but nowadays, the news I receive are related to the passing of some friends, relatives or immediate family members of friends.
It's been a tough few months transitioning from my old life to the new life, including having to live in a new place. To add to that, I found myself having to bury one of my dreams. My place was supposed to be my studio - where I can have plenty of space to paint but I digress. My life has taken a 180 degrees turn and perhaps when I get to heaven, I will ask God why.
2024 has become a year where life hits a forced reset button on me and I'm left wondering what God has in mind for me at 51. At this age, I don't think I have enough zest in me to run after a new dream. The worst part about it is watching others live their dream when I am stuck in a boat in the doldrums.
My soul is still very much alive and wanting to try so many new things but my physical body appears to have other plans. Wouldn't it be nice if the world is like Matrix where you can plug in a new 'upgraded' body?
I spent my 20s being so busy leading youth groups, and constantly busy with church activities. Now that I'm past 50, and watching the young people of today playing sports with friends, I wish I can do a rewind of my life and not been so busy with church programs. Grieving my wasted years.
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