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May I look back fondly… and look forward in wonder.
The tears I've cried over the past month and a half have been weird. Things inside of me I didn't even know were there to cry about.
But crying is good… it is the only way through it.
Tears of joy, anger, regret, pain, change, acceptance.
I have never experienced this type of pain before. And there a lot of things I wish I could take back. Things I've done. Things I've said. Things that were misinterpreted on my behalf and others.
Many times has my heart been broken. But I have to acknowledge every part in order to heal. Forgive those who hurt me and ask for forgiveness from those that I hurt. And most importantly forgive myself.
But that's life. You change. You cry. You learn.
I guess you really have to open yourself up to pain in order to see the forest for the trees. Life is expansive if you are willing to feel and see everything in it.
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The sweetest part of this journey so far has been motherhood and as equally the hardest.
I often wonder if I've done a good enough job at it. I try to take into consideration a lot of things. Their emotional wellbeing and their quality of life. Those things are most important to me.
I will say that their Dad and I have worked really hard at maintaining peace and love as we transitioned our lives during separation and divorce. And I can say with confidence that the children are happy and well adjusted.
We really worked hard at it. And I thank their Dad for giving me the opportunity to be a Mom. I especially thank him for being so kind and loving and present throughout the transition of our conscious uncoupling. We really nailed it.
He will forever be my significant co-parent and I keep that sacred to my heart.
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This Mother's Day has been bittersweet but damn… look at those three beautiful and happy children. I am so thankful for all the emotions that have come with it. 🤍
Precious Moments of Motherhood. 🤍 Keepsakes. Their outfits coming home from the hospital.
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This is my last post on this blog. I'll never delete it because I want to remember how life used to be. But like all great things… there will come a time and place when you have to move on.
May I look back fondly… and look forward in wonder.
🤍K.
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